Walk With a Wink

My Dearest Fear,

This is my first step here — and it felt right to start by speaking directly to you.

I know…
I know you are here to protect me. I feel your attachment, your vigilance, and your constant whisper reminding me that the unknown might be too much to handle. You speak in quiet warnings, in hesitation, in the subtle tightening of my chest when I consider stepping beyond what I already know.

It has become clear to me that what you fear, or what you refuse to face, does not truly belong to me. You are shaped by stories that were passed down, by experiences you absorbed, by voices that were never truly my own. You were learned, not born with me. In many ways, you belong to someone else; you took form in someone else’s mind long before you found a home in mine.

I see how you cling to old patterns, how you repeat familiar loops in an attempt to keep me safe. You guide me back toward what is known, predictable, and controlled, wrapping me carefully inside what feels familiar, even when it no longer serves my growth. And while I now recognize the limits of your protection, I also honor its intention.

For that — for your loyalty, your persistence, and your desire to shield me from pain — I truly appreciate your help.

But today, I want to have a different kind of conversation with you.

You see, staying only where I feel safe has begun to feel small. Comfort, when held onto for too long, slowly turns into limitation. And I don’t want my life to be shaped by “what ifs,” quiet regrets, or stories that were never allowed to unfold. I want to expand. I want to build self-esteem through lived experience, not just imagination. I want to find the courage to do something new — even if my voice shakes while doing it.

I picture you sitting close to my heart, small in this vast inner space, radiating that familiar tightness in my chest whenever my thoughts wander into the unknown. So instead of pushing you away, I reach for you.
Give me your tiny, cold hand. Come with me.

Let’s step aside for a moment. Let’s sit together and look at the unknown from a different angle — without rushing, without panic, just observing.

Do you feel that warmth spreading through my body? That gentle vibration that feels almost like nervousness, but brighter? That is excitement. And when excitement is not swallowed by fear, it slowly transforms into faith. Faith in my intentions. Faith in my actions. Faith in myself.

As that faith grows, it clears the clouds that once blocked my view. Light begins to pass through me, touching every cell, every thought, every step forward. And in that moment, I remember:
I am light.

And you, Fear, don’t have to disappear. You can stay… just not in the driver’s seat. Stay inside me, but learn to believe in me, just as I am learning to believe in myself. Let’s try together.

There is a whole new world outside of what we already know.
And this — right here — is my first step into it.

Thank you for being here with me.

With love,

May ♥️